Friday, March 9, 2012

Trifextra - Week Seven Challenge

Momma napped in the August sun while Janie explored the rocky island only exposed at low tide. Janie didn’t notice the tide until waves crashed over the rocks below, swallowing the beach.

“Momma!”


I've mentioned Trifecta in previous posts. This week the above 33 word story was something that sprang into my head as soon as I read the challenge.

"This weekend's challenge is to give us a story or snippet of a story which includes, in exactly 33 words, a justified exclamation point.  Make us believe that your exclamation point simply needs to be in your story.  The writer with the most believable exclamation wins."

10 comments:

  1. That demands an exclamation point.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. P.S. you inspired me to participate ... here's my entry ...
      http://scraps-from-life.blogspot.in/2012/03/when-hearts-speak.html
      Thanks and regards,
      Ruby

      Delete
  3. I work in a language in which exclamation points may only illustrate expletives or commands. This was a good example of an expletive.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a tough read for sure (which is to say you've done a great job). The exclamation mark was entirely justified. There's nothing more heartbreaking than the cry of a helpless child, is there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for linking up and we hope to see you for the next challenge.

      Delete
  5. I love the image of the ocean swallowing the beach.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How terrifying! I hope Mama wakes up fast. Never nap when your baby is near water. (Uh - I'm chiding her, not you)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for all the great feedback everyone! I appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete