I’ve had this dress for over ten years now. I bought it after I switched jobs back in 01-02ish when I went from graveyard waitressing to graveyard night auditor at a local hotel. The dress code at the hotel was casual but no jeans or shorts, so I opted to wear comfortable flowy dresses and skirts with sandals. More importantly though, this dress also served as my wedding dress when Scott and I got married in front of the court house on a bright and humid August morning.
I was six months pregnant with Cyra at the time and Scott had been asking me to marry him since 1996. But I was never ready. Too many marriages in my family had fallen apart and I was reluctant to commit – even though I was clearly already fully committed. We already had one child and now with another on the way when Scott once again asked me to marry him I was ready to set a date.
We were broke – the story of our life together it seems – and so no fancy wedding was in the works. I was quite happy with that. I was still going to college full time and Scott was driving a truck cross country so we had a very short window in which to get married. I didn’t want a big deal. I didn’t want to put on a show. I didn’t want to make decisions about invitations, bands and locations. That wasn’t me. It wasn’t us. When I was ready to say “I do” I wanted it to be private and immediate.
I only have a few photos from that day, but the dress is a physical reminder of my wedding day. I still wear it…mostly just around the house if I don’t have to go anywhere, occasionally it serves as pajamas. But every time I do wear it, Scott gives me a small “for me only” smile that turns my knees weak and makes my insides go flip-flopping around. We remember our wedding day: the sticky, heavy air, Cyra doing summersaults in my tummy, Ashleigh playing with the tiny snails that crawled along the sidewalk while we said our vows, Scott’s mountain-man beard, the tears I cried because I didn’t have flowers and then the tears I cried because he went out to the grocery store with change he scrounged from the car to buy me a bouquet of white carnations, the wedding band that was too big for my ring finger, the cake I made to celebrate his birthday, my birthday and then turned around and used again for a wedding cake.
So many memories tied to just a few yards of fabric.
|Zoe photo-bombing my pictures.|
|She was really irritated that I was taking her sunbeam.|
|"Get your laundry out of my sunshine!"|