Committing to Commitment

I work better, I’ve found, when I have multiple deadlines looming over my head—even if they are self-imposed deadlines. So, I know I said back in October I was back in the blogging game, but then I fell off the edge of the planet again. Go figure. I blame my BFF Sara for that, although she doesn’t know it (then again, maybe she does, she is scary perceptive like a ninja). Sara is in her third trimester and I have gone crafting crazy trying to get my BIG plans completed before Baby arrives! So October passed in a blur of yarn and fabric and emergency poodle skirts. And I’m still not done!

So what does that mean for me? Well, November is going to be busy. As always. I don’t even try to pretend to be surprised. In addition to the crafting and NaNoWriMo, I am going to commit to getting at least two posts a week. They might be short, maybe just be a photo or two. But the more I have to accomplish, the more willing I am to manage my time appropriately and not procrastinate.

And Friends, I am a big procrastinator. If I started a list of all my faults, procrastination would be at the top. I totally blame my family for that one. As the baby of the family, I learned very early on that if I waited long enough, someone else would do my task for me. Heck! My mom and sister still do it! Remember that whole painting my house thing?

(Another fault, since I’m listing them, apparently I don’t like to take responsibility for myself. But I blame my birth order for that.)

But no one is going to craft for me. And no one is going to NaNo for me. And clearly, no one is blogging for me. So I’ve got to pick up the slack. And by pick up the slack, I really mean, actually do the stuff that I want to do: crafting, blogging, writing.

Of course, there is one teensy flaw in my plan. Work. Yup. Me working, as much as I love my job (and a post is coming out soon about that) it really is putting a kink in my whole time management plan. Although to be fair, there are a few things I can do while I am at work that doesn’t interfere with actually working especially during the slow period, but don’t tell anyone I said so!

October Revolution

It would be great to say I was so entirely busy with my life that I just didn’t have time for blogging, but I try to be honest here so I can’t claim busy as an excuse. In all honesty, there really isn’t one single excuse.

I lost interest.

It became a chore.

I had nothing good to say.

I was doing other things (not too busy mind you, just pursuing different creative outlets).

All sound pretty…excusey.

I could throw this one out there: My eldest got obsessed with interneting and because of that my interest diminished.

And that almost comes to the point. In fact, if I’m going with excuses that one is the only one I would lay claim to. As her interest developed, I started paying attention to my internet habits and realized how much time I actually spent online. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, spending time online, but I saw how much time I could reclaim for other activities.

The time spent at work, much of it while the girls were at school, limited our family time and interneting sucked even more time away.

I stopped writing blog posts, I stopped reading blogs, I stopped clicking on links. I checked my email and Facebook a few times a day, the weather and the news, and then I walked away from the computer. I crafted, played, cleaned, worked.

But even that is an excuse.

There were plenty of times that I thought to myself: Ooo! I should blog this! But didn’t. I didn’t feel like sitting down at the computer. So I made notes to myself and moved on with my day.

So yeah, maybe I just needed a break.

Let’s go with that: needing a break. You saw other blogs and that’s okay. We were on a break. But I want back in.

Updates, News, and Other Info

UPDATES:

Blogging A to Z - Guys! Can you believe that it starts Monday? HA! Me either! Remember back when I said I was going to work at getting everything set and prewritten and...yeah. That didn't work at all. So I had a theme, I dropped a theme, I went back to my original idea, struggled to plan it, got a job, and almost decided to forgo the challenge. Then I read a news story in my local paper the other day that made me go, "hmm."

And with that, I present my new and improvised theme:

Archaic Slang Of America's Yester Years Through The Ages And Across The States

I'll admit, the title might need some work - it is a bit wordy, but I like words. I especially like words and sayings that not many people use. So there you go. 

NEWS:

Did you catch up there how I mentioned getting a job? Skimmed right over that part, didn't you? Well! I never...okay, I have but that's not the point. The point, Friends, is that I am once again  gainfully employed. Scott and I had a super long talk (seriously, it's been going on for about a year or so) and after nearly two years of playing the application game with the local school district we came to the decision that I needed to look at other options (really, it is wicked hard to get a position in this district. I'm pretty sure that unless you know someone, it just isn't going to happen). 

Interestingly enough, just like we found our current home on craigslist*, I found my job there too. I am back in the hospitality industry as a front desk clerk at a local hotel. I had my start in hospitality/service way back after I graduated high school and then all through college so I am familiar with it and honestly, I'm good at it. As much as I like to try to deny it, I am a people person and I like interacting with...you know...people. 

That being said, I'll be working a couple of wonky shifts and until I adjust completely, interneting and blogging will be taking a backseat. I'm going to do my best with the A to Z but I honestly don't expect my posts to be very long or story-like as they were last year. FYI - if you are recently joining me, you should check out last year's A to Z when you have a chance.

*remind me to share a really funny-creepy story about looking for jobs on craigslist! Honestly we should do a craigslist bloghop with funny-creepy stories because oh man! do I imagine that you guys have a bunch!

OTHER INFO:

Umm...Okay, yeah, you got me. I don't have anything else to add right now. How's about I leave you with a photo?

Mysterious Cinder Block Circle found just off a trail at Girl Scout Camp.

What inspires my nightmares

Last week was a wash. I'm surprised that I actually posted an "I Made It Monday" yesterday since most of the week was tussled up in stress and angst. Oh I wish I could blame it on someone else, but 95% of it was my own doing.

You see, I had to go to the dentist on Thursday. And that pretty much ruined my week. It kept me up tossing and turning. It woke me up with nightmares. It prevented me from concentrating on the work that I needed to be doing.

I'm not sure where my fear of dentistry came from. I know it isn't the most pleasant of outings but during my initial appointment at my current dentist they asked me to pinpoint something. The only thing I could think of was once, when I was little, I had an abscess beneath a baby tooth and it was bothering me so much that my mom brought me to the our dentist in the middle of the night to have it taken care of.

(Truthfully, it might not have been the middle of the night, but it was dark out and the dentist opened his office for us - no one else was there - you know, back when doctors did things like that.)

Dr. R. sat me in the chair and after a cursory exam looked me straight in the eye and told me that we could do two things: pull the baby tooth, drain the abscess, and end the pain or leave it alone and maybe it would stop hurting once the tooth fell out naturally.

I'm fairly certain that my choice was to leave it alone but I gather my mom had other ideas. The tooth had to go.

I recall crying and pain, gauze stuffed into the bloody hole where my tooth  had been. And then, the throbbing that had kept me awake and caused all the trouble began to subside.

As far as I can remember that was the single "bad" experience I had at the hands of a dentist. And yet, today, while I might remain outwardly calm in the waiting room, patient in the exam room and courteous at the check-out counter, inside I am a seething ball of panic, twisted into knots made of razors.

My most recent "tooth-ventures" started back in November you can read about that here, here and here) when teeth that I should have taken care of years ago started bothering me and I, in tears, begged for an emergency visit. I had the problem teeth removed the Monday before Thanksgiving with the understanding that once I had healed I would be back in the office to get a treatment plan together and started.

My friends, the dentist had to call me to schedule an appointment. I kept putting it off. Again. Because I don't learn lessons apparently. So last Thursday I had three fillings. Today, I'll have three more. Last week I spent the week in panic mode. During the visit, the nurse, had to literally pry my hands apart. I was clenching them together so tightly that they had turned a dusky purple. I was told to wiggle my toes as much as I liked but "for goodness sake stop shaking your foot so much!"

By the time I got home around 1pm I was exhausted, headachy, and starving (because who could eat before facing a dentist?) so I tried to eat, failed and ended up going to bed until 7 that night. Cyra and Ashleigh came home from school, checked on me and just did their thing.  

Although I know what to expect, I am still fearful. I might claim to be afraid of aliens and zombies because they don't exist* and I really don't have to put too much effort into being afraid of them. I avoid the real things that cause me fear because I don't like how I react. And that, my friends, is why I'll take a nightmare full of zombies, aliens, and bigfoots over any dream that features teeth or the dentist!



*By "don't exist" I mean I totally think life is out there somewhere, I just don't think they waste their time buzzing our planet. And zombies could totally happen. Maybe. And I know that Matt Moneymaker will someday find bigfoot.

People Love Me...

...and I feel like a complete heel.

So blog awards have been floating around and I've actually been tagged by a number of people and I never properly responded. So today, I'm acknowledging the love and giving it back. Sorry it took me so long.

First, way back when, Pickleope tagged me with a trio of awards, the Liebster, Kreativ Blogger and a quiz. I started off strong and then promptly got swept up in the Photo a Day and A to Z challenges. I was supposed to also tag others and list ten things about myself that were super top secret. Pickleope is one of my earliest followers and consistently makes me giggle and you should visit if you haven't yet. Plus, I think I might have inadvertently caused Pickleope to have arachnophobia and snort milk out of her nose once (do pickles even have noses?) so I sort of feel bad.

Then Ruby at Whispering Thoughts and Fuchsia Vision tagged my with a Liebster which I never properly acknowledged. Whispering Thoughts is a sweet blog and Ruby posts short stories there - often participating in Trifecta challenges. On Fuchsia Vision Ruby posts a lot of great photos! She is one of my early followers and always make such positive comments. I am a little concerned for her though...she once mentioned she had a monkey problem in her garden! And I was worried about aphids and pickleworms!

Melanie at Sporkin' On Down The Road gave me a Liebster too. She has fast become one of my blogger BFFs and if she lived in Florida or I lived in California we would totally hang out and she would cook fabulous food for me (not that I can't cook fabulous food. I do. Often. But she totally has an adventurous side to her food of which I am in awe). Plus she sent The Girls and me some radical wallets. Just Because! Who does things like that anymore? Her blog is very down to earth, honest and funny.

Finally, just the other day, Ken at ken-inatractor sent a Kreativ Blogger my way. Ken, a Canadian farmer who likes killing moose (or at least likes taking credit for moose slaying) and picking rocks, has quickly become on of my favorites. His posts are sometimes sweet, sometimes quirky all the time well written and awesome! And he once promised that he would ask his wife if they needed an Underwife (because I want to be a farmer's wife and Scott doesn't seem too interested in becoming a farmer) but I never heard back from him on that...odd, right?

So first up the Liebster.  

Liebster is the German word for beloved / dear / favorite. the Liebster Blog Award is "passed from one blog to another to honor smaller blogs (those with less than 200 followers) that deserve recognition for their fabulous blogging abilities."

The rules: 

Thank your Liebster award presenter on your blog.

Link back to the blogger who awarded you.

Copy and paste the blog award on your blog.

Reveal your five picks.

Let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

Okey Dokey.

I did the link backs above, so a big thank you to Pickleope, Ruby and Melanie. You guys are great! Fantastic even! And I really appreciate the recognition (despite the fact that it took me a bit to actually acknowledge the recognition).

And for the Kreativ Blogger:

The Rules

Thank and link back to the awarding blog.

Answer seven questions. (Note - When Pickleope gave me this award there were different questions which I did answer here)

Provide 10 random factoids about yourself.

Hand the award on to 7 deserving others.

 Again, the link backs are above so a huge thanks to Pickleope and Ken for sending me an award!

The Seven Questions:

#1. What is your favorite song?

 I really don't have a favorite favorite song. I cycle through. I have a terrible fondness for 80s Monster Ballads and Rodgers and Hammerstein Musicals.

 
#2.  What's your favorite desert?
This is an unfair question that is probably a trick question designed to make me reveal a weakness! But I don't have any weaknesses unless you count tapioca, cake, custard, frozen yogurt, cookies, cupcakes, truffles...anything with sugar or chocolate or caramel or... Is it any wonder why I need to lose weight? Nope. It really isn't. 

#3. What do you do when you are upset?
It depends on what you mean by upset? A pissed off upset sends me to my room or as far away from the cause as possible. I am non confrontational and do not like to fight because I start to cry. Am I upset because I broke my favorite mug? I yell. Loudly. And curse without any profanity. Am I upset because Florida drivers give me road rage? I seethe and fume until I erupt (regardless of who is in the car) with sailor talk the likes of which should only ever be said on the docks.
 
#4. Which is your favorite pet?
Currently or ever? Currently, it would be Zoe because she is such a cat, but rarely has hairballs like her sister Simone, and she is never freaked out by everything like Junie. In fact Junie is probably my least favorite pet although she has taught me a valuable lesson: I should never own dogs. EVER!! My all time favorite pet was Precious, a beautiful grey cat we had while I was growing up. Or Abraham, a pit bull that had a heart of pure and solid gold! Or maybe Buddy my turtle. Man! This question is like asking me which kid is my favorite!!
 
#5. Which do you prefer, White or Whole Wheat?
I like both. Seriously. Weird, right? But yeah. Breads of all types are equally loved in my house. 

#6. What is your biggest fear?
Sharks. Zombies. Aliens. Bigfoot. The Dark. Growing Up.
 
#7. What is your attitude mostly?
I try my hardest to always have a good attitude. I try to look on the bright side and try to not let little things bug me.


Ten Super Secret Facts (but don't tell anyone! Okay?)

1. I’ve come close to death twice. The first time brought me one of my greatest joys: Ashleigh. The second time was far less pleasant.
2. When I sit, I curl my toes under my feet instead of having my feet flat on the ground.
3. I joke about it, but I really am terrified of aliens. The idealist in me hopes that if aliens came here they’d be benevolent like E.T. or Vulcans. But it is more probable that they’d be out to conquer and destroy.
4. My favorite painting is Flaming June by Frederick Lord Leighton.
5. I cry every. single. time. I watch Lilo and Stitch because I love my sister.
6. I am so terrified of becoming a hoarder I throw things out and donate stuff all the time.
7. I used to bite my nails but I stopped and now when I am nervous or upset, I pick at my cuticles. Sometimes until they bleed.
8. I only swim in the ocean when there are plenty of other swimmers and surfers in the water because I figure my odds of getting bitten by a shark are greatly reduced.
9. I spent three plus years working to save enough tickets at an arcade with my dad to get a stuffed 20 foot long pink snake. I slept with it curled around my bed for years until I outgrew stuffed animals and it ended up in the basement being used as a home for mice.
10. I was six credits shy from earning a double BA when the financial office met with me and informed me that I had exceeded my lifetime Stafford Loan limit and I had to graduate or come up with my own money to continue.

Bonus Facts: I can recite The Jabberwocky from memory, my favorite class in college was Milton and I have never, ever had a leech attached to me for any reason at all.

And these are the cool bloggers I am tagging for both awards:

Meg at Tales of a Half Crazed Housewife
KC at The Occasional Adventures of a Hermit
Charlie at The Semi-Retired Gamer
Valerie at Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi
Jamie at Awakenings and Reflections
Carly at A Sewcial Life 

And finally Sara at A Bend in the Road 

If giving blog awards is like tag then it means there are no tag backs. Stupid rules. But even so, I also think Pickleope, Ruby, Melanie and Ken deserve lots of love so go visit them too!

A to Z in Four days!?

So when I signed up for the Blogging A to Z challenge back in February I was all cocky and confident. "I have a month to plan posts," I told myself, "No problem!"

Umm... Yeah...Problem.

One of the names I didn't put on my name cloud yesterday was maybe one of the more descriptive ones: "Procrastinator."

I am so good at procrastinating, I sometimes don't even realize I'm doing it. It's ingrained in my hard drive and no amount of reprogramming has been able to help. And I certainly don't want to do a complete system wipe. I work well under the stress of a deadline. The problem is the deadline needs to be really close for me to acknowledge it. Like "objects in the mirror are closer then they appear" close.

I don't even have a theme for the month yet! I have some vague notions of what I might want to do for some of the letters, a few jotted down words and doodles (not that I'd put a doodle up here, because as crafty as I like to think I am, I can not draw anything save a smiley face and a snail) but I have nothing concrete.

But people, four days is an eternity to a procrastinator of epic proportions like me. I can ideally keep procrastinating until April 1st and then whip out some random post and be done with it. Except, I really wanted to be ahead of the curve here. Have good solid posts that weren't just thrown together to fill a niche. And have posts scheduled to go so if I was busy (right!) I wouldn't be worried about it.

Four days. I could get quite a lot of writing done in four days. If I had a theme. If I focus. If I - oh! The lawn needs to be mowed!