The Obligitory Christmas Post

When everything is “meh,” it’s hard to get excited or involved in anything. I found Christmas seriously, seriously hard this year. Decorating became a chore, baking became overwhelming, shopping? All I can say is thank whatever supreme being there might be for Amazon. The most enjoyment I got out of Christmas ramp-up, and don’t laugh because I am dead serious, was ordering wood grain wrapping paper paper to go with our Christmas tree theme: wood ornaments only. 

We spent the week leading up to Christmas shouting, "That's mahogany!" every time a cat or a girl got too close to the tree!

The other highlight of Christmas? Funny story actually.

We haven’t updated our gaming console since the PS2. Really. We have a first gen Wii, but I don’t considering that as an “us” update. The Wii was a gift from my mom many, many years ago. So our console gaming has been rather limited in the past few years. Don’t get me wrong, I love my PS2 and it will not become part of the Dejunking 2015 project at all. I have very specific, very joyful memories attached to it. Yeah, I’m looking at you Sara. Baulder’s Gate Marathon? SSX Tricky until our fingers cramped? Still play ‘em. Still love ‘em.

This Christmas Scott and I decided to finally update to a PS4. Cool, right? We completely skipped a generation! The girls were thrilled when they opened it Christmas morning, squeed even, and couldn’t wait to start playing. So as I was making the Christmas Breakfast and getting ready for work (yeah. Work on Christmas. Sucks, but that’s the hospitality industry for you.) Ashleigh started unboxing and setting up the new shiny.

After a few minutes of ripping plastic, tearing tape, and shredding cardboard, Ashleigh appeared in the doorway, a cord in her hand.

“Mom, I can’t set it up.”

“What? Why?”

“There’s no plug for it,” she said.

“Just unplug something else.” We’ve got a dvd player, Wii, and PS2 all hooked up to our TV, surely there is something we can do without.

“No, Mom,” she wiggled the cord at me, “It won’t plug in. There isn’t a port.”

Frustrated because of the 20 million things I’m trying to get done, I walked into the living room and took the cord from her. “What do you mean?”

“This cord doesn’t fit the tv.” She wiggled the cord at me again.

I pulled the cumbersome, heavy tv away from the wall and look at the back. And Friends, wouldn’t you know it, our TV is so old, that it doesn’t have an hdmi port! Seriously? Yup. Our ancient, only got it because it was on sale and they were discontinuing the model, tv can’t handle new technology.

Scott and I couldn’t stop laughing. The girls? Well, they were less than amused.

Guess what else we got for Christmas?

I Made It Monday (Or We Now Return To Our Regularly Scheduled Program)

For those of you who have recently joined my legion of minions...um...followers...I had been doing a regular Monday post called, "I Made It Monday." I'm a crafter and a professional chef (at least in my mind and according to my kids) but that isn't the only thing I am. That being the case, I do like to occasionally display with pride my creations. Most people refer to this as bragging and I do that too. But I'm totally modest about it.

Before I show off my accomplishments for the week, let's talk for a second or two about Pinterest. How many of you have a Pinterest account? I bet it's a bunch. Pinterest is the coolest thing since hot glue. Would it astound you to know that I do not have a Pinterest account? Well I don't because I already spend too much time lurking about on the internet wasting time that I should be spending in productive activity.

But every once and a while, I'll scroll through the Pinterest front page just taking a gander at what's there. I mean I am a crafter and a would-be chef so I should always look to expand my horizons and talent, right? The only problem is that each time I visit Pinterest I find myself feeling more and more inadequate. Interestingly enough, I am not alone in this feeling. A recent news article talks about how moms are feeling stressed out by the amazing things they see on Pinterest and like me feel bad about how perfect everyone else's life seems.

So last week I was perusing Pinterest and low and behold I found two recipes that looked really fantastic. The first was for a zesty shrimp and avocado salad and the second for something called "magic cake."

Now I won't print the recipes here because of copyright and all that but I think this is the original site for the salad. With the salad I was a bit hesitant to try it because it called for a bunch of things that I just don't like all that much like red onion and cilantro. And to be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of avocado but I have had it and enjoyed it in sushi and on a sandwich. But the photo looked so amazing and I really love lime and I'm on a low carb diet (which is working nicely, thank you) and this salad seemed just the thing to change up what I had been eating.

Not pictured: the avocado lurking just beneath the cucumbers.

So I replaced the onion with cucumber and the jalapeno with bell pepper (in the hopes the kids would be more willing to try it) and left out the cilantro. Looks pretty, right?

I hated it. It made me want to puke. I brought a small one cup serving with me to work the other night and as I ate it, I hated it more and more. I didn't even finish half of it. I'm not sure why. Maybe all of the replacements I made turned it into a disaster, but all of the ingredients separately I like just fine. Together? UGH!

After that fiasco I was really, really nervous to try the magic cake. Magic cake is all over Pinterest like glitter and there are so many rave reviews about it. What could be the harm here? A cake that magically separates into three different layers as it cooks, sounds pretty neat to me. I got the recipe from JoCooks but you can Google it and about 14 quadrillion recipes for it will pop up. It was a simple recipe with ingredients that I had - so no special trip to the store on a non-shopping day - and it looked pretty sprinkled with powdered sugar.

First of all the batter is so thin it might as well be instant pudding. As I was mixing it during the last stage, it started separating in the bowl and there were chunky bits floating around. I had my doubts, let me tell you. But I was making it for my gaming group and only had an hour before they arrived, so I knew it was too late to bail on a new recipe in favor for a more familiar one.

I wish I had taken photos of the process, because it was a seriously creepy batter. It smelled good as it was baking and when I took it out, it looked...done.

From this angle it's hard to tell, but it did indeed separate into three layers: a bottom rubbery crust, a middle custardy filling, and top cake-like consistency. Instead of just powdered sugar I opted to dust it with a bit of cocoa powder which actually helped cut down the intense sweetness of it. The guys liked it and honestly, it wasn't a bad cake it just wasn't magical enough for me, it was just kind of...meh. I will say though, that on a second try, after it had sat in the fridge overnight and didn't have anything sprinkled on it, I liked it a bit better. I think it would benefit from a sauce and more vanilla.

One of the guys suggested a sprinkle of vanilla sugar and I would have to agree that vanilla sugar would make a nice addition to the cake and to my kitchen!

In fact, I be there's a recipe on Pinterest somewhere for it.

Exciting! Two Posts for the Price of One. (FYI: If you did pay could you let me know because I've not seen a cent of profit here!)

So I don't usually post twice in a day, but some rules are meant to be bent. Bent because I don't actually have a rule about posting twice in a day. I've done it before and thus far Blogger Police have left me alone.

As you know I am big into games. Big! I love them. I've posted about it here and here if you're interested. And as many know I subscribe to Felicia Day's Geek & Sundry channel (and you should too. Because. It. Is Awesome. Can you believe I'm not even getting paid for these endorsements? I really should be.).

Apart from the Guild, my favorite show on Geek & Sundry is TableTop hosted by Wil Wheaton, actor and all around awesome guy. I say that knowing that I don't know him personally but he seems like a pretty decent fellow. Each episode of TableTop features Wil and a group of friends playing a game. Hilarity ensues. Some games I was familiar while others were completely new and nifty! TableTop played a huge role in Christmas presents this year: Dixit, Gloom, and Star Fluxx to name a few. 

Anyway, a few days ago, Wil Wheaton posted about a BIG announcement for TableTop and I bet like many, I assumed the worst. No second season? No Wil? No table?

Turns out my fears were for naught. TableTop has sparked such a response that Felicia Day and her team of intergalactic superheroes, unicorns, and friends have declared March 30th to be International TableTop Day! Here's Wil's announcement about it on his blog.

So I will be participating. I'm hoping that somewhere in my town a small coffee shop, bookstore or game shop is planning on it as well. Although even if I just spend the day playing games with my girls it is still going to  be a great day in my book!

I wish I was cool enough to declare an international day...but alas, I haven't reach that level of awesome yet.

Someday.

(Was my fangirl showing a bit here?)

I Made It Monday

I've mentioned before how I am a gamer - I should clarify that though I play video games and board games, my love is tabletop RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons and, of course, Pathfinder. For the past two plus years I've been playing in a single adventure path ("adventure paths" are self contained adventures that take a character from 1st level to a high level over the course of six interconnected adventures, hence, adventure path).

Two weeks ago my gaming group and I completed an entire adventure path. It is the first campaign I have ever finished. It was sad to see it end. Characters that we had developed over two years suddenly ready to retire and new characters and a new campaign to start. As sad as I was to see the old campaign come to a close I was excited to start a new one. Yesterday, my group started a new adventure path called Skull and Shackles in which we, the characters, get pressed into piracy.

I love pirates. I love pirate themed anything. And as it happens I also love to bake. Typically I make some kind of dessert, snack or treat for my guys each session. I spoil them really. But that's okay because I love baking so much that I can sometimes overdo things and having three extra guys in the house helps to take care of the food.

So this week for the start of the campaign I made my guys hardtack.

Seriously.

The dough was so sticky I had my doubts to whether I would actually be able to roll it out.

Now, I wanted my guys to actually eat the stuff so I didn't go with a traditional flour, water, salt recipe. I found one that called for oats, honey, and buttermilk. Again, not exactly hardtack, but...similar.

Interestingly enough I actually have a small round biscuit cutter.

 

The bottoms of the hardtack got a nice golden brown but the top remained a slightly pale shade of dough. "Dough" is a color, right?

Pretty, right?

These actually tasted pretty good. Although not technically "hard" the guys still got a chuckle out of it and Scott and the girls said they wouldn't mind some in their lunchboxes to snack on during the day. I'm definitely going to make these again but next time with a touch more honey and maybe some cinnamon or nutmeg.

And because I didn't want my guys to get stuck with scurvy (because who in their right mind would) I made a lemon wafer cookie. Oh my goodness this cookie was just about the most delicious lemon cookie I have ever made before.

A crisp buttery cookie with a tart lemon glaze. Yum!

Photo A Day - Something Awesome

I'm a geek and a gamer. I've never been one to hide that. One of the things I love most about tabletop RPG is all the neat accessories Paizo is now selling. In a few months, my gaming group will be starting a new adventure where we become pirates. One of the members of the group downloaded and assembled an awesome 3D pirate ship for us to use for the game.

Made out of heavy card stock and plastic sheets the ship has been sitting in my living room for a few months now. And it is full of the awesome! The top deck is detachable so we can play below decks.

You know - rereading that paragraph makes it sound like it is a full scale ship sitting in my back yard rather than on a shelf in my living room. I promise, it's just a model. Although having a full size pirate ship in my back yard would be beyond awesome.

"Avast! There's a giant eel, octopus and something else off the port side!"

Look at the detail on this thing! The planks, the doors that actually open, the carved woodwork!

"Let's keelhaul someone, Argh!"

I've been making the little paper minis for the adventure (again they are a product that Paizo sells to go along with the adventure paths). And don't they look so freaking cute awesome? I can just hear their little "args" and "avast ye scurvy bilge rats" echoing across the deck. And sure, I'll admit that I've had myself a little fun putting the minis on and making them swab the decks.

Friday Photos

Yay! Friday Photos Returns! Triumphantly? Well...maybe. This week I am featuring photographs of games that we have played over the past few months.

Monopoly is one of our favorites, unfortunately since it always takes us forever to play, we often never declare a winner. Scott won't play this with us because once (a really freaking long time ago) my mom and I cheated taking money from the Bank when he went to use the bathroom. Jeesh! It wasn't like we were going to win anyway! He had hotels on every side!

Risk is another game Scott doesn't often play with me. I'm working on a blog post about it...but let's just say, for now, no one like screaming jihads. Even when its only little plastic army pieces.

I'm green and I totally own South American. All those drug lords are working for me now! (Umm...not really okay? Remember it's just a game - so if there are any drug lords reading my blog...I totally Do Not Own You...or any property in South America at all. I've never even been there!)

Clue is one of my all time favorite games. Mostly because I win. A lot. It is one of the few games that I can consistently win. And that makes me supremely self-satisfied.

I love this photo because it took about twenty shots to actually capture the die bouncing across the board so perfectly. Sometimes awesome shots just happen...sometimes you need to make them happen!

Also this is me winning. I always play Colonel Mustard. Always. And I love it when I am the suspect!

A few years ago, Scott and the girls got me Munchkin for Christmas and every so often they add a booster pack. We have so many Munchkin cards it is almost impossible to play with them all. Up until June of this year, we always played with post-it notes to track our levels. But then I watched this episode of TableTop (and if you aren't watching Geek & Sundry - SHAME ON YOU!) and lo and behold, they played Munchkin on an offical Munchkin board! I didn't even know those existed. Being crafty and perpetually short on cash, the girls and I made our own board! And we use our D&D miniatures as our tokens!

The object is to get from level 1 to level 10 by defeating monsters. It's a spoof of D&D and it makes me laugh every single time we play. The girls and I try to gang up on Scott because if he is playing, somehow he always wins!

The more I look at this, the cooler it gets. Now, I wonder if I can add a 3D effect to the board...maybe some pop-up walls and doors that really open?

More recently, during the Birthday Fiesta O' Fun (I swear on all that is holy, unholy and only slightly sacred I will be posting about this soon) Sara and her husband introduced the girls and I to Settlers of Catan. I vaguely knew about the game, but I hadn't ever played before. But I have to say...I am pretty sure that Santa will be bringing this to Someone because Holy Monkey Butts was it fun. They had the travel edition which seemed friendly albiet a bit small, so I'd be interested in playing a full sized version!

Also during the Birthday Fiesta O' Fun we played a game Sara got me for my birthday: Zombies!!! Trapped in a town infested with Zombies you have to make your way from the Town Square to the Helipad killing zombies and backstabbing other players to do it. Along the way, if you can make it, different stores have bullet and life tokens that will increase your chances to survive.

Players build the town as you go so often the town itself makes no sense whatsoever!

Fighting zombies is mandatory, but luckily only one zombie can occupy any one space - so no crazy hoards piling up on top of you. 

Sara taught me how to play Cribbage just about forever ago. When she went to Japan, I was Jonesing to play so I taught Ashleigh. We don't play it as much as I played with Sara (which was very nearly all the time) but it is a highlight of my day when we do play.

Ashleigh already off to a strong lead!

Coming into the home stretch...Ashleigh still in the lead and even though it was my crib, she had a really strong finally hand and took the game! Curses!

I Made It Monday

What happens when I combine my love of gaming, my craftiness and too many sets of dice? You get a new dice box! I made this a few years ago but as you can see it's getting crowded again. On a side note, I really need to stop buying dice.

The top and front designs are just doodles I did in silver, gold and black acrylic paint.

I painted a light brown on first and then streaked a darker brown through the still wet paint to achieve a wood plank look.

I wanted to line it with crushed red velvet...but all I had was red felt.

So many dice. I think I need a bigger box...and of course more dice would be needed so the box wouldn't feel empty. It is a vicious cycle. More dice, bigger box, more dice...pretty, pretty dice!

K is for Kentucky Derby

I imagine that a lot of people will write about the Kentucky Derby, if not today then soon, since it is almost here. I never paid much attention to the Derby growing up. It wasn’t until I met Sara, actually, that I began to have more than just a passing interest in the race.

For a few years before Sara went to Japan and our gaming group broke up we gamed every Saturday night. Often times we (Sara and I) turned the gaming session into a celebration. We both enjoy cooking and baking and our weekly gaming sessions gave us the perfect opportunity to cook and bake and not end up with piles of leftovers. When special occasions coincided with our Saturday night game more often than not, we invited the gamers over early to participate in whatever festivities we came up with.

Since Derby Day falls on the first Saturday of May Sara and I started talking about hosting a Kentucky Derby party. Sara planned a menu of Kentucky Hot Browns, Corn Pudding, A Run for the Roses Pie and of course Mint Juleps.

But what would a Derby Party be without fancy hats? I bought a bunch of straw hats from Michaels and the cheap silk flowers. Along with the multitude of ribbons I already had, we had the beginnings of a great project. We spent the afternoon hot-gluing flowers and butterflies, ribbons and buttons to our hats.

We all picked our favorite horse and placed our “bets.” The winner would walk away with a pretty gift bag full of old-fashioned hard candy: lemon drops, rock candy, and root beer barrels and taffy. And if no one won then the loot could be shared.

That year started a tradition that I kept even when Sara was in Japan. We’d wear our hats, paint wooden horses from Michaels (I added that in the next year when we needed another craft), we’d watch the pre-race activities and make a delicious dinner.

The girls look forward to the Kentucky Derby now each year. Sure we don’t follow horse racing. Sure we pick our favorites based on their names and what they look like. But we don’t let particulars bother us. 

from left to right: Jess, Sara, Cyra, My sister, Ashleigh, my mom and me.

PS - you can see photos of the Kentucky Hot Browns and horses that we paint here

G is for Gamer

My brother started playing Advanced Dungeons & Dragons around the time when I was 7. It seemed like every weekend, a group of teenage boys gathered around the dining room table and spoke in such strange tongues: THAC0, d20 and hit points, experience and loot. They cast spells and killed monsters. It was exciting and thrilling. I always tried to linger when they played. Here was a game I thought that suited me perfectly: one with words and imagination. I might not have fully understood the concept, but I longed to play.

“Can I play with you?” I would ask.

“No. It’s only for boys.” He told me.

Despite being told “no” I would sit in the corner, next to the out of tune piano, hoping for a chance to play. To my mind, it wasn’t fair that Erik got to have all of this fun. If he was my big brother and supposed to watch out for me, I reasoned, then surely, he should allow me to join them at the big table. Occasionally, he would let me play with some of the miniatures or his dice. I loved the heavy weight of the tiny characters. My brother would painstakingly paint each one; the colors making them come alive. The clatter of the dice rolling across the table and the boisterous laughter from the boys always filled me with a longing to join in. I would sidle up next to Erik’s chair and ask questions. Typically this resulted in me getting banished from the dining room.

Years went by and my brother continued playing with a core group of friends and I still wished I could play. I would ask occasionally, but as I got older, so too did my big brother. He went to college, moved out and was suddenly a grown-up. No longer just my brother, he was an adult, with adult responsibilities.

In high school, one of my best friends had a younger brother. Donald was three years younger and although annoying at times, I adored him as a little brother. By the time he started high school, I had all but given up on ever playing D&D with my brother or anyone else. None of my friends ever showed an interest in it. But suddenly, Donald and a few of his friends started talking about and I begged him to let me play with them.

Maybe it was because I was always at his house and had gone on vacations with them, but whatever the reason, Donald agreed. In fact, he seemed enthusiastic about it. That was the year I spent more time with my best friend’s little brother than I did with her. It was weird at first, but I quickly adjusted. We did just what my brother had done: play D&D. I got to use words like THAC0 and make imaginary heroes that would save the day. Characters died and we mourned. Villains were defeated and we rejoiced. We played through the night, and since I had a car we would often end up at the local diner at three in the morning looking for snacks!

After I graduated I spent more time working than socializing and out little group fell apart. I went to college, hoping to find a group to play with again, but it wasn’t until I met Scott that I found kindred gamer. Ironically, even though D&D was one of the deciding “should we date” factors, we never really played together until after Cyra was born when I assembled a group of gamers out of new friends I had made at Flagler.

I am lucky and grateful that both my girls are interested in gaming. They have their own sets of dice and are ready to start rolling!

Friday Photos

One of the best Christmas presents I received this year was The Pioneer Woman Cooks by Ree Drummond. I've followed her blog for a while and longed over her book when it came out. But being on a budget, I could only gaze at it longingly while reconciling myself to just visiting her blog.

While I was drooling over the book, I fixated on her recipe for BBQ Jalapeno Poppers. I've not always been a fan of spicy foods. It has only been in the last few years that I have developed a taste for a little spicy kick in the jaw. So when I read this recipe I knew I wanted to make it for my Gamers. Now, never having worked with jalapenos before, I was a little zealous with removing the seeds and membranes so my poppers turned out sweet rather than spicy.  

My hands were all juicy from working with the jalapenos so I didn't take many pictures of the prep. But the finished product is so beautiful, I think you'll forgive me.

Poppers drenched with Baby Ray's Honey BBQ sauce getting ready to go in the oven.

Just out from the oven sizzling with bacon-y bbq-y goodness.

I wrapped the bacon a bit too tight, something the Pioneer Woman warns about, but I was still new to the bacon wrapping while wearing gloves game.

Gamer Tom decided that I was spending far too much time taking pictures of his snack and photo bombed my plated poppers.

Seriously, are these not oozing with loveliness? So sweet and divine!

Quiet Monday

Today was just a quiet day. The bug that caught Ashleigh last week finally settled in on Cyra and we stayed home today. So what did I do?

1. cuddled
2. played Neverwinter Nights (a new addiction that I totally blame on Scott)
3. played Sims
4. played Neverwinter Nights because there isn't any blood and gore in Sims
5. laundry
6. smiled when after telling Cyra to take a nap and she insisted she wasn't tired she passed out for most of the afternoon
7. played Neverwinter Nights
8. cleaned the kitchen
9. played Neverwinter Nights
10. cooked an awesome dinner - cheddar ranch burgers with ceaser salad and mac and cheese
11. played Neverwinter Nights
12. cuddled
13. more laundry
14. played Neverwinter Nights
15. more cleaning of the kitchen
16. blogged
17. cuddled

So, a highly productive day in my honest opinion! And a very nice end to a now five-day weekend! I'm back to work tomorrow before my boss freaks out on me and little Cyra, if she is still yicky (which I don't doubt she will be) will hand out with Mom.

It's A Brand New Game

If it is a brand new game, why do I feel like I’ve been here before? Is it that gamers fall into the same categories and types regardless? Will there always be a rules lawyer? A goofy geek that fondles the minis? An obnoxious loudmouth that always has to tell a story about what this one character did in a game unrelated to the current one? A self absorbed narcissus whose character is single minded in their own purpose to the determent of the group? A DM who takes far too much delight in our character’s deaths? It isn’t so much the stereotypes that are throwing me for a loop, but the memories they dredge up.

Now, I’ll admit, I’m sure I also fall into a category. But for right now, I am quiet at the gaming table, almost unbelievably so. I watch the others, see how they interact, and merge, while I am trying partly deliberately and partly subconsciously, to keep my distance.

Without diminishing what Sara went through (and honestly, I have no idea how she managed to be so calm through it all, I’m still seething about it for her and for me) I’m still really upset about how my last group fell apart. As much as I disliked D I didn’t like “firing” him, and I really miss J. She was fun to hang out with, witty, amusing and an all around nice person. But when D went, J went too. It was a choice between Z and C who really merged well with us and D, who just drove us crazy with his self-absorbed rules-lawyering.

I can’t hold a grudge against Z and C. I mean they had job opportunities that were just too good to pass up and from what I hear they are doing well in Cali! I miss them a ridiculous amount! Both are good guys and I hope that they have found groups that appreciate them as much as I did and that play to their strengths.

And then there was E. Out of all the old group, never would I have pegged E for being a dickweed. It was bad enough what he did to Sara. For that alone, I wish him ill. His actions though affected not just Sara, but my whole family as well. We were all close with him, spending time with him away from the gaming table, hanging out late into the night, going out as a group. Cyra especially loved the man. God, she spent time crying over him when he was on deployment, not just because she missed him, but because she kept having nightmares that something happened to his ship or that he fell overboard and was eaten by sharks!

And then there is Sara. What can I say about her that isn’t obvious? My first grown-up BFF (how childish does that sound?). I don’t blame her for high-tailing it out of here. In fact, I am more than a little envious of her opportunities to travel and explore the world. I took her departure harder than I thought I would. But 13 time zones are piddle-squat when it comes to friendship! And before I start mushing and gushing, I’ll leave it at that.

So, when it came time to regroup, to find a new set of gamers I found myself very hesitant. I didn’t want to invite people into my home and get close, be friendly, get hurt. What finally convinced me was Scott. He has been dying to play Pathfinder and he kept checking the message boards looking for a group in town. When he found a message that looked promising, he immediately drew my attention to it and all but begged and pleaded with puppy eyes (not that that works) to see if we could set something up.

I capitulated and emailed and then met part of the group at the bookstore to see if we’d be compatible. Much to my dismay, I hit it off with them. They are nice guys, so far that I’ve seen. They can only game two or three times a month and only on Sunday afternoons which works out really well for Scott and I. And, yes, they fall into stereotypes and after two gaming sessions it is hard not to make comparisons.

S reminds me a great deal of E. Goofy, playful, geeky. I know I’ll get along famously with him.

E reminds me of C. A rules lawyer who doesn’t work the rules so much as reminds the DM as needed, or looks up a stat for the DM as requested.

The DM reminds me of Sara. He is a great storyteller and weaves us into the fabric of the story. Unlike Sara, he uses the critical hit deck-OUCH!! And he takes gleeful delight in pulling out those cards!

C reminds me a great deal of D. He always wants to talk about what he once did in a different campaign. He is loud and boisterous, which could be taken either way, good or bad.

J reminds me of the very first Jess we had at our table in the apartment. Self-absorbed, her character is conniving and won’t engage in battle unless forced. She is also single-minded in her own personal side quest.

So where does this leave me? I’m friendly; it is hard for me not to be friendly. It is easy for me to keep my distance since we only meet every other week or so, and because we have such a short time to game, we are all focused on the game as soon as everyone gets here. I’m not entertaining as I once did. It is a strict BYO: if I don’t feed them, I don’t adopt them. And in an unfortunate side effect from our last group, I am a bit fearful.

I am a loyal friend, fierce and devoted, once I have given friendship; it takes a lot to break it. It is the Leo in me, I think, and really, I’m not sure I willing or able to hand over friendship as I once did. And that, I think is what kills me the most. I am friendly and outgoing by nature, and right now, it is taking all I’ve got to not be.