B is for Boondoggle

My town is planning a ridiculous bypass that cuts through residential neighborhoods and a state preserve all to eliminate the congestion on US1. This congestion mind you, is only there during rush hour when people are trying to get to and from work. Guess where a lot of people work? Downtown.

This bypass? Bypasses the entire downtown.

Pointless. Millions of pointless dollars spent to alleviate a problem that only lasts for about two hours a day total. Locals know how to avoid it. We know the short cuts and the hours to stay away from US1. Personally, I have never spent more than 15 minutes sitting in traffic and that was because of an accident.

What will the bypass accomplish? Not much aside from directing tourists away from the historic downtown and away from the US1 business district. Guess what kind of town this is. A tourist town. It's the biggest industry and employer (in general, mind you not as a single employer).

In a story published in the local paper an elderly resident (whose home is in the residential district that will be affected) claimed that the local developers and state officials had “boondoggled” the town residents. In the comments section for the article, one very…shall we say illiterate…person claimed that he couldn’t take the complaint or the issue seriously because the elderly man used the word, “boondoggle.”

This, my Friends, is the word that led me to this year’s A to Z theme.

Boondoggle is a verb from the 1930s meaning to cheat or swindle. Interestingly, Boondoggle is also found in the 1850s as a noun meaning a gadget. I like it as a verb.

Example: Benny and Billy, the Blarton Boys, boondoggled Betty into banning Bobby from her birthday bash by boldly braying that Bobby’s bollocks were blanketed in bleeding blemishes.

This post has been brought to you by the Letter B and the fine folks at Blogging A to Z. And by the number 20. Check out more A to Z blogs here!

Friday Photos

Florida, like many places in the country, is full of the odd and unusual. Sometimes though I get the feeling that Florida tries just a little bit more than the rest of the U.S. I mean the state was essentially established as one big tourist trap because really how else are you going to sell a swamp that periodically gets destroyed by hurricanes? In any event, surprises that pop up around any corner are commonplace and really, one of the perks of living here.

Today's photo is a landmark that I've known about since I moved here back in 2000 but I've never been inside and probably only driven by it a handful of times. As it happened a couple of weeks ago I was bring my dad around on the scnenic A1A and decided to stop and point out this awesome building.

Behold! Castle Otttis!

I captured this from the road, just at the end of the castle's driveway.

This thoroughly medieval looking castle sits a stone's throw away from the beach just north of town. And although it looks as if Templar Knights could come pouring out of it at any moment it was actually built between 1984 and 1991 as an art project. Yup. It's just art. You can go only only by special arrangement tours. And I think you can rent it for weddings. Someday, I'd love to take a tour...oh the photographs I could take!

Land of Pollen

I like spring. It isn't my favorite season (autumn holds that honor) but I like the whole blooming and growing that happens. Or at least I did until I moved to Florida. My daughter's pediatrician told me shortly after both girls were diagnosed with seasonal allergies that people come to Florida with no allergies but it never stays that way. Instead of picking up some little trinket in a souvenir shop we all got allergies!

And spring is the worst. All of those plants all wanting to procreate pay no heed to the sneezing, wheezing, and watery eyes. I'm pretty sure that Florida chose to eliminate winter this year. It got cold for about two days in December before deciding to just skip right into spring.

Today, for instance, it is 80 degrees outside. In the shade. I'm ready for AC and January isn't even over yet! Now 80 degrees sounds nice I bet, especially to you northerners (how many feet of snow do you have on your back 40, Ken?) but the amount of pollen in the air and on everything is making it darn hard to appreciate the warmth!

That coat of apparent grime on my car? Pollen

That "dirt" on whatever plant this is on my patio? HA! Pollen!

There are little rivers of thick, yellow pollen running along the driveway, the pond has a near glossy sheen of pollen floating on top. The irony would be, of course, if all the trees and plants listening to Barry White CDs and spreading their love get hit with a frost come February.

Photo A Day - View From Your Window

I love the view from my living room windows. A big grassy lawn, a gazebo and a pond - it reminds me of an old English estate. Not that I have ever been to an old English estate but I imagine that there would be at least one view from the manor that overlooked an expanse of manicured lawn with a pretty gazebo smack in the middle of an artfully arranged garden and a glassy pond filled to the brim with basking turtles, minnows and dragonflies.

I have a very good imagination.

This view today grants me a small taste of home - upstate New York. Although it is well into November, here in Florida it only just started to get chilly and the leaves only just turned and started to fall. It's officially long sleeve shirt weather now. (Sorry my Great White North friends for rubbing it in...how many feet of snow do you have already?)

As much as I find home is where my family is, I still miss my hometown in the autumn. The delightful crunch of the leaves under foot, the crisp air biting at the nose, the fuzzy sweaters and slippers, apple orchards and pumpkin patches, things that Florida lack, makes me nostalgic for home. But once a year, as the few deciduous trees drop their leaves, I am transported back to my northeastern roots.

Look at my little photobombing kitty, Simone. It wasn't until I had the camera aimed out the window that she decided she needed to be on the sill.

A carpet of leaves is as close as I'll get to a carpet of snow.

Photo A Day - Man Made

Florida is naturally a swamp so it always strikes me as funny when I see people refer to retention ditches as “ponds” or “lakes.” I used to live in a community that did this. Everyone loved talking about the lake, the fish in the lake, the ducks on the lake, the turtles basking by the lake. It was a complete mystery to me this obsession with a man-made lake. Sure it had a natural aspect to it but to go on about it as though the builders had found a pristine lake and built around it was sort of silly to me.

Florida is like that, a man-made state. Without the development of air conditioning, dredging and draining the swamps no one would want to live in here…at least year round anyway. I think perhaps, especially along the coast, people forget what nature really is. Maybe today man-made nature is the more improved version of nature. Nature 2.0? One step closer to living in a complete virtual environment? Even going to a state park one cannot escape the influence of man-made: roads cut through the trees, fences line the perimeter, trails are blazoned with signs and information, campsites are outfitted with running water and electricity.

Sorry. Slippery slope, I know, and this blog is anything but a tool for social reform or commentary. I am far too shallow non-confrontational for that.

Last year Cyra joined a golfing program and has since fallen in love with the sport. The other day during one of her last lessons for the fall session I followed her around the three-hole practice course snapping photo after photo, paparazzi style, capturing her in action.

When I decided to participate in the photo challenge this month, I made a point to be aware of the different themes so that I could grab photos as they came. And as I was following Cyra around, the beautiful settling of the golf course – and really, golf courses are very pretty and well maintained – struck me as being off.

It’s a natural environment modified by man to suit a purpose. Hence man-made nature. Oxymoron? Perhaps. But it fits the category. 

Here is the course with a water hazard and on the far side a bunker.

The retention ditch...I mean pond. Lake. Whatever. It's man made and that's what counts regardless of how many fish, birds or alligators live within it.

Photo A Day - Drink

Well. Yeah.

I kind of blew today's shot. It was an odd day and topic. I've already posted a bunch of photos of drinks on here: hot cocoa, tea. Do you really need to see another drink? I think not, especially since I really don't drink anything else. I'll occasionally have an alcoholic drink but with the medicine I'm on I've been avoiding those. And I try to stay away from soda. And water tastes funny without a teabag in it.

So.

Here are some beer steins that I saw at the Lightner Museum last month.

Photo A Day - Something You Do Everyday

When I was growing up we had hardwood floors throughout the house, upstairs and down. I can remember my mom going through once a day running a big dust mop over the floors but I never really thought about it until now.

The last three houses I've lived in were almost entirely carpeted. Even some of the bathrooms. So the only rooms I had to sweep were the kitchen, the entry way and the bathroom.

My current home however has no carpets whatsoever. None. Oh sure we tossed down a couple area rugs but tile and wood laminate floors stretch wall to wall here. Something that I fell in love with when we first looked at the house. No more carpets I thought gleefully. No more juice or pet stains just easy breezy sweep and mop and nice and clean.

Oh how naive I was back then.

Maybe it wouldn't matter as much if I lived anywhere else.  But no, here in Florida - the Sand is Everywhere State - you can't escape from the sand, especially if you live along the coast. So everyday, sometimes twice a day, I am sweeping. Sweeping. Sweeping.

Sand, cat hair, dog hair, my hair, dog and cat food (because holy moly are the pets messy eaters), dirt, and dust.

It never gets put away because I am always using it which makes the broom the most used tool I own.

This accumulation is from 8 o'clock last night to 8 o'clock this morning. And only from about half of the dining room.

Eww. Right? I want a new broom. This one is dirty.

It never. ever. ends.

I do not remember big piles of sand or dirt in the house growing up which means I am certain that the reason my mom made me take naps was not because I was tired, but because her endless battle against dirt and dust wore her out.

birds win because they can fly

So I came home last night after a successful trip to Barnes and Noble (any trip to the book store, by the way, is always successful) and found this hanging out along the roof of the carport:

 Can you see that little squiggle up next to that ledge? No? Let me...just...zoom...in...

Meet Winston the Yellow Rat Snake

 WHAT?!?! Seriously? That snake is totally waiting to ambush us as we get out of the car!

Just to give you all a bit of scale: that pillar is about 1x2.5 and he is wrapping himself around nearly all FOUR SIDES!

Let me do some math here (it isn't my strong suit so give me a sec)...

Winston is at least three to four feet long! And he's all scrunched up which means he's probably longer.

This is what I think he was after:

There were two birds up in the corner of the that ledge sleeping. They've done it before and I've always told them that they need to go home to their nest because I'm no voyeur. And Winston looked rather intent upon getting to that ledge.

Fortunately for the bird - not so much for Winston - our shrieks of fear that a monster snake was about to launch itself at us from the ceiling woke the birds up and they took off. This one only made it to the pillar on the other side of the carport. I think he was still a bit groggy from all the partying he was doing. Winston, however, seemed less than pleased that his dinner had flown off and took to hunting some moths while we watched from the safety of the house.

This morning when Scott left he found the bird had come back to the pillar after Winston slithered off:

Jackie Chan (I've just named him that) is clinging, ninja-like, to the interior corner of the pillar completely asleep. Not even flash photography disturbed him!

Friday Photos

Last month I met up with Sara and Geordie at the Dunlawton Sugar Mill Gardens for an afternoon of exploration in what is supposed to be a very beautiful botanical garden - alas not much was in bloom and they were doing some minor construction on new garden areas so it was breathtaking in terms of the gardens. Fortunately for us, the real reason I wanted to go to gardens was Bongoland!

I first read about Bongoland about two years ago when the girls and I were first getting into camping. I had it in my head to explore as much of Florida as possible and, of course, the first book I turned to was Weird Florida.

Life being what it is, my plans to go to Bongoland always got scrapped. But when I finally got to go, it was almost as good as I hoped. The only thing that could have made it better would have been more...dinosaurs?

This was the only one of the five concrete monstrosities that "looked" semi-normal...and by that I mean ... never mind, just keep scrolling down.

Okay. Dinosaur eggs are pretty simple enough to make. These kind of looked cool. I liked how they had one that was broken open almost birdbath-like.

I've always been a fan of stegosaurus. They make me smile as I imagine them clodding around in the forest.

Cool I like tricertops - they always look tough, like they are just sitting on the edge of a major spaz out. Umm...okay so maybe his horns got broken in a fight...

Why is he trying to KISS US????

smootchy-smootchy

Behold the giant land sloth. Watch out folks, his a maniacal stalker! Look at how he is pushing back the brush... just like a velocioraptor!

"I'm watching you...With my shiny Frank Sinatra eyes!"

 And finally the majestic king of dinosaurs... The T-Rex?

Yikes! Rexy Baby! What happened to you? Where is your third finger? Have you dislocated a shoulder, you poor thing!

I'm pretty sure there isn't anything left to say but oh how these made me crazy happy!

Independence Day in Photos

I've been trying to write about my Independence Day activities all day long and really, I'm struggling. Not because it was boring or excessively magical but...oh this funk that I am in. Curse it all! So I'll just give a brief photo essay.

I wanted to beat the traffic and get a good parking spot, so the girls and I headed down town around 1pm.

I brought the girls on an actual tour of Flagler. Both of them want to go here and I am encouraging that whole-heartedly. I love the idea of my girls going to my Alma mater as well as something local. Here's a snapshot of the front entrance. I've got more photos to come on Friday.

After the tour we headed over to the playground for a bit before headed back to the Plaza to catch a concert. Big band sounds with tons of patriotic music. Listening to Cyra sing along to Proud to Be An American made me tear up just a bit.

 

It was nice to lay back on our picnic blanket and stare up into the sky. So very relaxing and peaceful despite all of the hustle and bustle going on around the Plaza.

Then around seven we decided to find a place to nosh! The main roads were quite crowded and our favorite pizza place had a line out the door so we wandered the back streets until we stumbled upon a tiny little British pub, The Prince of Wales.

We stood in the street looking over the menu for a minute before we decided to head in.

"You know, this seems a bit...dodgy." I said to Ashleigh.

"What do you mean?"

"Eating at a British pub on the Fourth of July?" I replied. "Isn't that a bit, you know, wrong?"

Ashleigh giggled a bit.

"Well," I continued, "If I had been around back then, I probably would have been a loyalist. I like tea too much and I don't like to rock the boat."

The dessert menu. Guess which one we ordered?

I'd never had it before and I giggled the whole way through eating it. Cyra wasn't to partial to it but Ashleigh devoured her share!

After dinner, uncomfortably full, we headed over the lawn of the Fort to find a place to sit. The crowd was...more than I expected but not too bad all things considered.

Out of all the photos I took of the fireworks, this one came out the best and it is by far my favorite. You can clearly see the outline of the Fort as well as the nearly full moon peeking out from behind one of the towers. A beautiful finale.

I won't go into details about the drive home. It is sufficient enough to say that the fireworks were over at 10, we got to car about 10:15 and we pulled into the driveway just about midnight.

Debby Does My Yard

When we first moved in to our house, we were excited by the prospect of having a pond out front. Unfortunately, the pond at the time was little more than a muck hole because of the severe drought conditions that Florida has recently gone through. Unsurprisingly, Tropical Storm Debby and Tropical Storm Beryl have helped alleviate the dried up pond.

Debby did a bit more than fill up the pond though and we are lucky that we didn't have the amount of flooding that others in the state suffered - washed out roads, rivers exploding over their banks. Despite Florida's need for rain, this was not exactly the way we wanted the problem solved.

During a break in the rain, I was able to snap a few photos of the pond.

 

Just a few minutes later the rain started up again and within ten minutes the yard was flooded...again.

I wish I could have gotten a better shot of the neighbor's yard in this one. Their yard is virtually flat and it was nothing but water.

I wonder if all this water will take care of the fire ants and moles...

The next set of photos are from after the storm passed and the sun broke through the clouds.

Those ripples? 50 gajillion tadpoles just eating and growing and plotting.

This was the high water mark. I was amazed that the water level dropped so quickly after the storm. That might be a testament to how low the aqueduct levels are but I'm not waterologist so don't quote me on that!

Junie very much appreciates having a pond...Guess how many bathes she'll be getting in the coming weeks?