Wednesday, April 4, 2012

D is for Deer leg


Early autumn at the start of deer season I am warned not to go into the woods behind my house. At seven, I understand the dangers of hunting season so I play in the yard and occasionally the pop-crack of a distant gun echoes from out of the trees. My family does not hunt. Our next door neighbors, however, do.

On Friday afternoon I play outside while my mother makes dinner. Our dog comes bounding out of our budding Christmas tree field carrying a large, long stick-like object. I know it is not a stick as it is too floppy, but from where I am I can’t tell exactly what it is. The dog zips by into the back field and I catch a bright flash of red.

I run over to the dog now lying in the grass gnawing on its treasure. I approach slowly, creeping up on the dog. He looks up at me as I near and wags his tail. I pet his head and kneel beside him looking at the object.

A pointed hoof, tan fur, a mangle of muscle, tendons and veins lay between the dog’s front paws. Our neighbor must have bagged a deer that morning and our dog had made off with a discarded leg. Just above the knee joint was a ragged chewed mess; a fly lands and crawls along the hoof. The dog began licking the bloody stump. And a plan began forming in my mind.

Show and Tell is on Monday. I giggle and reach down to pick up the leg. I pet his head and murmured softly and the dog allows me to ease the deer leg from the ground.

As I stand up the to dog bites at the leg pulling it back.

“Hey!” I shout at the dog.

He immediately releases the leg and I back up. He leaps at the leg again, tail still wagging. A game of tug of war has begun. A few minutes pass. Perhaps, my mother has noticed us from the kitchen window. Perhaps she has a sixth sense but she suddenly appears, yelling at both me and the dog. I drop the deer leg and the dog prances away for a second.

My mom takes the leg from both of us and tosses it into the woods. I am defeated momentarily. After dinner, both the dog and I make a second play for the leg. I win. I sneak the leg into the house and tuck it inside a paper bag before tiptoeing upstairs and hiding it away in the bottom of my closet. This will be the best Show and Tell ever. I gleefully hum to myself. My pride and excitement get the best of me though.

In my enthusiasm, I blurt my secret to my cousin’s girlfriend (both of whom were staying with us at the time). I swear her to secrecy but at seven years old, I have yet to learn who I can trust. She listens with a growing look of concern and abject horror. I tell her my plans for Show and Tell and how cool I will be. She nods and thanks me for sharing such a great secret.

I skip up the stairs, my curly pigtails bouncing and prepare for a bath and bed. My mother calls to me from down stairs.

“Did you get that deer leg again?”

I shake my head slowly, more in disbelief than in a lie. How could she know? Did she see me? She must have magical powers. My cousin’s girlfriend comes to stand next to my mom at the bottom of the stairs.

I sigh and nod. 

I give over the bag.

“This is disgusting,” my mom says to me. “What exactly were you planning on doing with this?”

I shrug. I am defeated again and this time I know there will be no more opportunities. The greatest Show and Tell my class would have ever seen will never happen. 

16 comments:

  1. that would have made for a wonderful show and tell wouldn't it!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! Foiled once again by my lack of secret keeping!

      Delete
  2. I never get tired of this story. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi, Heather! Oh my gosh, this is gross but definitely funny! If I was your cousin's girlfriend I would've had to tell your mom, too, but I think I would've been more amused than horrified. That surely would've been a show and tell no one would have ever forgotten, LoL.

    Nice to meet you and happy A to Z!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. I'm sure as an adult, I too would tell, but man! I was so disappointed!

      Delete
  4. This story was so wonderfully written I could picture every bit of it. And I would've done the same thing with the deer leg. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! It's good to know that I am not alone in my weirdness!

      Delete
  5. It is a good thing that Heather could not keep a secret because she hid it in the back of her extreamly messy closet and with the typical 5 minute attention span of my 5 year old sister she would have forgotten it and the stench of that rotting leg would have chased us all out of the house by monday!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have any idea how excited I was by that, big Sis?? There is NO WAY I would have forgotten!! You're just jealous 'cause you didn't do it too!

      Delete
  6. Great post for D. Thank you for sharing! New follower here. I’m enjoying reading my fellow “A to Z”ers. I look forward to visiting again.

    Sylvia
    http://www.writinginwonderland.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I'm glad you stopped by and decided I was worth sticking around for - especially with all the great A to Z posts out there!!

      Delete
  7. I think that you should get an award for the most unique post ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! That comment is an award itself! And I most gratefully accept!

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. As an adult I know I should be totally grossed out by this... Is it odd that I'm not?

      I'm glad I made you smile!

      Delete