I’ve been quiet lately. Censoring myself, really. Because I am not writing an anonymous blog there are things that I will not and can’t write about. Well, write about and post here, anyways. Sometimes I think that maybe I should have instead created an anonymous blog but then I remember that many of the things that I like to write about – the Girls, my family and friends – are things that I want my family and friends to read.
So I don’t often put up too much of my feelings here. I try to stick with funny, silly stories about little things that happen, my experiences with the girls, the world through their eyes. But I also don’t want to be just a mommy blogger because I am more than that too. I like to bake and craft, explore the world and discover new…stuff. And I like sharing that as well. I blog about quiet things, daily life and adventures. I’m good with that.
Except sometimes.
Sometimes there are so many problems running through my head I’m sure that I’ll explode if I don’t talk about them. Sometimes I get so mad at the girls because of something they did or didn’t do (in the case of the teenager) that I want to yell and scream and rant at them. Sometimes my family irritates me to no end and I want to complain. Sometimes life throws me such a curve ball that there isn’t anyway I’ll be able to hit it in time.
All those times I write down. I tell.
But not here because that stuff, those emotions are private.
I don’t rant about work because even if I was working, it wouldn’t be professional. I don't set out to upset or offend anyone with my words and I try not to write anything that I would be embarrassed if my Mom read it.
So, for the past few weeks I’ve just been keeping things to myself. Problems and emotions that are mine will stay mine. No emotional rants, No bits exposed. Having a gazillion followers was not my intention when I started out as a blogger. I had ideas of just keeping in touch with friends and family but then I discovered something: an amazing community of people with stories and tales of their own. Bloggers who develop dialogues and friendships. Bloggers who expose me to new ideas and new ways of thinking. Bloggers who, although from different corners of the world and different backgrounds, can relate to something that I wrote.
So even though it wasn’t my intention, I’ve found that I quite like the friends that I’ve made here and I hope that they don’t mind too much while I’m quiet, because I promise – I’ll even pinky swear – that I don’t stay too quiet for long. I’ve got stories and plan on telling them…it’s just taking me a bit longer than I anticipated.
Heather, I can SO relate to this. Truly. I also get 'quiet'' sometimes, and often it is because I hold back things that I just can't write and share. I have wondered if I am being 'true' to myself as a blogger by not sharing but then I remember that I do have a whole world and life outside of my small corner of the blogosphere and I can choose to keep some space between.
ReplyDeleteI fully understand your quiet and the need for it. I will surely be glad when you're here, and then hope all is well when you're not.
I will pray for you.
I heart you Heather. And you stay quiet and don't rant about work to balance out people like me who put everything out there and don't care, professional or not. I am glad there's someone like you to balance out me. I know I have diarrhea of the keyboard. But I'm kind of proud of that. And I'm proud that you write stuff like this that makes me think maybe I should reel it in. Then I think, "Nah, I'll just let that be her job."
ReplyDeleteAdore you. :)
We will look forward to the stories as and when they come. Till then may there be peace in your heart and smile on your lips :)
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to find a balance between honesty and over-sharing. I find that I censor myself as well, especially when it comes to snark. I'd hate to accidentally hurt someone's feelings. I love that you say that you blog about "quiet things". It's a lovely term.
ReplyDeleteSavor your quiet time. I hope that you find peace with everything.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Don't forget that it is almost a full moon. It's a very good execuse/reason for feeling a little extra crazy than normal (I use it a lot).
So you KNOW you're loved, I have an award for you!!! Come on over (when you're back) and check out the details!
ReplyDeletewww.hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com
Hope you've had smiley moments this weekend!
Carrie
Many hugs to you! I hear ya, girl! It's tough not being able to talk about things or people that piss you off. Sometimes I wanna, but the aftermath wouldn't be worth it. People can be petty.
ReplyDeleteYou'll get thru it with flying colors!! RIDING ON A UNICORN OF STEEL!!!
Double hugs!
Valerie
It's hard when you feel like you have to censor what you can post on your blog. Enjoy your quiet time.
ReplyDeleteHi Heather,
ReplyDeleteStory of my life!!! If I happen to be having issues with my mother-in-law or my sister, I find that I cannot write about it (even though I want to) because of the off-chance that they might read it, misinterpret it, and get their feelings hurt (or stop speaking to me). Hence, I write about sunshine/ flowers/ hot fudge sundaes and silly random stories but that is not real life 100% of the time. I really appreciate you writing this, it is so true. I think people get the wrong impression of me sometimes from reading my material-- I am not a 2-dimensional person, there is so much more to each of us than just the happy facade we project to others.
Stay strong.
best,
MOV
ps-- thank you VERY much for having my blog on your sidebar, you made my day!!