WTF? Now there are quizes on blogging?

Earlier this week, in a fit of child-like rage and jealousy, Pickelope tagged me for a bunch of awards and a quiz. Seriously, Pickelope? It isn't enough that my comments make you laugh, now you have to give me a pop quiz? And there's math involved!

Fine. But I'm doing this my way. I'll complete your little quiz but you'll have to wait to see what I do with the awards! Mwa ha ha ha!

1. Out of the different races of life in Lord Of The Rings, which do you prefer and why? (Answer carefully.)
a. Orc
b. Halfling
c. Elven
d. Human
e. Dwarven
Of all the questions, this one is the simplest: Halfling. They are homebodies and all about food. They can adventure when the need is great. They find joy in the simplest of pleasures and burst into song at the first hint of a good meal or alcohol. I would totally be a Halfling.

2. If today will be yesterday, and tomorrow will be today, What will tomorrow be when it is yesterday?
Monkey Farts! I have never been good at math…but I’ll take a stab at it…umm? Thursday²(2a+½xy)= ? Crap what was the question again? I’ll just skip this one. It can’t be worth more than two points.

3. Do you consider yourself a writer or a person that places rather large words together to form a sentence, and thus, a story/post/epic?
I’m not sure I consider myself either really. I often misspell rather large words so I tend not to use them. And sometimes fragment. Also.

4. If you happened upon a war and you had to take part in it, what would be your weapon of choice?
a. rifle
b. sword
c. slingshot
d. bow and arrow
e. dematializer
I’d go with F – The Transmogrifier and turn everyone into Unicorns. Then there would be no more war and I could continue with my peaceful pacifist lifestyle. And as a bonus every little girl would be issued their own unicorn (complete with a curry comb and sparkle ribbons) when they turned five. I'd be a celebrated hero!

5. If you were stuck on an island with no means of escape, and were given one wish, what would it be for?
No wishing for more wishes?

One wish I supposed I’d go for is a companion. I’m totally a people person and I would go Tom Hanks crazy by myself. It would have to be someone that I could deal with forever though. At first I thought, The Bloggess, because she would keep me amused arranging little plays and skits with her collection of taxidermied animals. But then, since she doesn’t know me she might get slightly pissed that I wished her away from her family even though my island prison would be a beautiful paradise full of talking animals and coconuts.

Then I figured my husband would make okay company…but he doesn’t like sand.

Maybe I’d just wish for a machete.

6. If you participated in the TV game show Fear Factor, where would you draw the line in regard to consuming odd "meals?"
Pretty much everything on the show I’d have to draw a line for. I’ve only watched a few minutes of the show when it first premiered and quickly decided that if I wanted to spend 30 minutes being nauseous I’d rather just have a stomach bug.

 
7. What is your favorite album of all time?
I really don’t have one favorite album (and yes, I am old enough to remember vinyl), although I do remember a certain Smurf album that I listened to pretty much constantly when I was about 8.

8. What is your favorite movie of all time?
This changes frequently, currently it is Sharktopus. Clue, Groundhog’s Day and Billy Elliot are always in the top five.

9. Are you taking part in the 2012 A to Z Challenge this year? It may be the last one, depending on your answer for question 11.
I am. Because I needed one more thing to fret about.

Actually, I am really looking forward to it. I don’t have a theme although I have a few ideas for a few of the letters. And I don’t want to wing it because at some point in my life I’d like to sound polished and reasonably assured that I make sense.

10. If, by chance, you were endowed with one super power, what would it be and why?
I hate this question. It gives me the heebie-jeebies. My daughters ask me this all the time and every single time I tell them the same thing – I don’t want a super power, I’m not responsible or trustworthy enough to have one.

Here’s the deal, I’d like to believe that if I had a super power I’d use it for good, but I know I wouldn’t. I would become a criminal mastermind or a dictator or the executive director of show development at Disney or Nick (the ones who make all the crappy decisions about what to put on the air – don’t get me started about those guys!). I would use whatever power I have to ensure that my family was well taken care of and screw the rest of the world. So no matter what power I selected it would be corrupted.

Well…it would be kind of neat to be able to draw perfect geometric shapes without the aid of a stencil or protractor…for purely crafty purposes, I assure you.

 
11. Do you believe that the Mayans are on to something concerning 12.21.12?
Short answer: Nope.

Slightly longer answer: I think that ancient civilizations were pretty brilliant to come up with the things they came up with. I watch Ancient Aliens almost obsessively. I love Stargate. But the ability to predict any outcome as an eventual absolute outcome? I don’t buy it.

The Mayans had a great calendar system. So did the Egyptians, the Jews, the Chinese. But it is nothing more than the marking of our movement around the sun. The Mayans were freaking amazing astronomers. They didn’t have the bright lights and Jersey Shore distractions that humans today face. With nothing to do, they watched the sky and mapped the patterns.

Medium answer with more humor: No, but just in case I am making a 2012 Waiting For the Apocalypse scrapbook to preserve my family’s memories in the event that civilization collapses and we are some of the few survivors (I have no doubt we’ll survive because I’ve got 20 pounds of rice, two cans of beans, and five jars of Tang – I am so ready!). 

And now, I have to tag someone else for this quiz. So...Sporkgasm? You're it!